Why is it when you haven't smoked for months the moment you inhale it's like coming home? I've quit many, many times and I need to quit again. It somehow snuck back up on me and I let it. I missed smoking, having my 5 minutes breaks, that de-stressor that helped to much. If I needed an out I could just go for a smoke.
It started innocently enough, I was feeling stressed before the holidays and would invite a friend to go for a beer with me and I'd bum her cigarettes. We've been through this before. So this goes on for month and then it's every week and then twice a week. I'd hit up the other hockey mom's. Then it would be that fateful night when I went out drinking, really drinking, I think I had four that night and I was smoking all night and i was okay for a few days but then I really needed on and I ended up buying a pack and then another and another and before you knew it you were smoking again. Yup, I'm on pack 6 I think.
I love smoking but don't get me wrong I know it's bad for me, that's why I keep quitting but I like it so much. So it ebbs and flows for me. One day I really will quit for good. Right now I'll enjoy it while I can and maybe I'll quit in a few days or next week. I really want to and hopefully exercise will help me conquer this hurtle as well.
2 comments:
I can't even come close to knowing how you feel - I have never even tried to smoke. But if its anything like trying to give up my Diet Pepsi - then you and I have alot in common. I can get the shakes without having my diet pepsi and I get a panic feeling if I know there's no more in the fridge. So yeah - its tough. Gotcha there.
I have the regular Pepsi dedication that I'm trying to kick as well. It's tough. I've done it before, I'll do it again.
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