Friday, June 06, 2008

I'm sometimes amazed at how quickly our attitude can change, overnight for instance. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning not totally refreshed or caught up on any sleep but with the attitude that I'd been waiting for. So I've been walking everywhere and not smoking at all today. If I have a craving I go for a little walk or have a sip of water.

I've been trying for days now to get out of this negative mesh that seems to have enveloped me. I'm not always a chipper person but I'm not usually so down or negative and so for the last couple of days just feeling solitary and trying to keep negative thoughts at bay.

Some times it's harder than other times but it can be done. It's that can do attitude. I was letting myself get down about hubby working all the time and me being stuck with the kids but what a way to think, stuck with the kids, I should be enjoying my time and I usually do but once in awhile it sneaks up on me. That's gonna change right now.

No matter what though I'm so grateful for my husband. He's the kind of man who really sticks by his woman no matter what even when I'm in one of my pissy moods, he doesn't say anything just stays out of my hair until all is clear. He's really encourages me to do stuff with the kids, do my exercises and start writing again. He was trying to give me ideas for something to write the other night on the phone which turned out hilarious because he's got some crazy ideas for some kids books. Even though he is at work 10am to 10pm lately and then usually stopping at the shop or a friends on the way, I talk to him all day and we keep up with each others day. Usually by the time he gets off work  I'm in no mood to do anything anyway other than sleep or read in a fetal position. Sometimes though if he's home sooner we'll sit on the back deck and enjoy the sunny evening with each other.

There are few things that we disagree on these days, we sorted it all out years ago and get along so well now. Sure there are a few lapses here and there but it's nothing we can't fix or talk about and that is what I find so great about my relationship with my husband. There I go getting off  track again.

So it really feels great to have my mojo back, let's just make sure it stays around for good. I think part of the reason may be that I've been reading, enjoying some me time after the kids are in bed, I love that. Yes, I love my hubby but that time from when the kids go to sleep and hubby gets home is so precious to me. I'm just not that person who has to have someone around all the time, I really like my quiet time and it's really helped me a lot to have that the last couple of weeks with no one to worry about but me. So now I'm in that frame of mind again and on the road to start my journey once more. Here we go.

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