Musings

I've been feeling really good for the most part. Exercising everyday and watching what I eat better. I'm seeing the numbers change and feeling my body change for the better. I love this feeling of strength that I get. I'm hope today though, I didn't sleep well last night and my shoulder hurts today and I just don't' feel well. I'm trying to rest my body and feed it healthy food and do things that ease my mind such as read or watch a movie. I'm feeling restless and guilty.

I hate when I feel guilty for taking care of myself. I do know myself well and I know that I need a break from outside stress today. So I do this for myself to take care of myself.

I am going to a writing workshop tomorrow night and that is another thing I am doing for myself. Writing and reading have always been a part of my life, a part that when I suppress makes me feel anxious and lost, like something is missing. I'm not a great writer but I like to make up stories that having meaning to myself or entertain myself. Help me escape. I'm not sure what it is I'm escaping from but it's always how I've seen it since I was a young girl. Writing just satisfies me.

My boys are all doing wonderful right now and I could be more proud of them or more in love with them. They really are my whole world along with their father. Now I just have to learn to take time for myself again and I'm working on that and I feel good about that.