My boys are all doing wonderful, yes we still have our issues everyday and it's just old hat now I guess. Just something that adds to the stress I can't seem to shake.
Plus, I have lots on my plate but it's all so personal or family related that I just don't feel right discussing it here in a public place. So I write nothing.
It's a constant theme in my life these days, I can't stay focused on anything, so my writing here and on my own work just doesn't get done. I feel overwhelmed and overworked at home. I keep thinking if I was just more organized I would be a great mom again. But right now I'm short tempered and just not doing the things a mom should be doing. I know too that once I've written all this down that I can finally start planning better and get back to a good place where I feel like myself again and feel like I'm the mom I'm supposed to be instead of just doing all the motions. I need to be there and present and happy.
My weight loss journey is full of ups and downs right now, as I'm on medication to quit smoking and it's wreaking havoc on my body and I've had all the side effects but at least I'm not smoking and that's the point of it really. So how can I complain. I miss smoking, I never wanted to quit but it's for the health of my body that I have to, so I continue on. My sleep is messed up because of it, I have vivid dreams, I sleep very deep and I find I'm staying up to late so my schedule is off kilter there.
I find I'm not losing weight, I haven't reached past that initial 20lb loss in quite sometime but I'm so ready to get back to it but I find that with my brain all in a flutter these days that I can't commit to anything. But I continue to educate myself everyday by reading positive things, by visiting 3 Fat Chicks everyday, I'm not posting right now but I'm not giving up. It'll come together one of these days and I just hope it's sooner rather than later.
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