Plus, it's the keeping it together for my family. Staying strong for my Dad, so he doesn't see me sad too often. I went and got him from the airport last week after he's stay in the City. He had to use a wheelchair, so that was kind of shocking and I wiped away my tears quickly before he could see and gave him a quick hug and kiss before wheeling him out of the building.
Later, I helped him run errands by taking him to the clinic and bank and again wheeling him around in a wheelchair. He hates it, he's never been a patient man and he makes all these comments, it's a little bitter and also feels reminiscent.
On Saturday, I went up and cleaned the kitchen and he instructed me in the canning process which I had never done before. It worked quite easily this way and we made a relish. The next day we planned on doing the tomatoes but he called the next morning to tell me they were leaving early for the City and his next chemo appointment.
He told me to go pick the tomatoes and do some canning and pick the ripe pole beans and freeze those and the carrots. Yesterday Kale and I went up and did that. Kale was a huge help, we picked a bunch of tomatoes and beans. Since my dryer broke down last week and I have to order a replacement which we'll do an exchanges since it's covered by warranty, I was drying some clothes, so I brought Kale and Mica with me and we cleaned up around the house, straightening and sweeping and vacuuming. Kale was a big help.
We'll go up and do some more during the week. I know my Mom has been crazy busy with work, my brother's kids and taking care of Dad that the housework has not been a priority and well, it's not that bad but they do save a lot of stuff, so they have a lot of stuff!
I've been scanning old pictures from the photo albums as well.
Things are just chugging along for the most part but I'm starting to feel my nerves fray, so I've booked myself in to see a counselor, I'll call him my therapist because it just sounds better and also my nurse because I've got to get back on the weight loss track. I've been stalled for quite some time and I'm ready to get back in control of my life and putting my mind and health first.
Kids are doing great, they had picture day already. I'm thinking of taking Mica with me to Whitehorse the next time I go and get his pictures done.
So things are good and bad, busy and stressful but I'm looking for way to take back control and not let life live me but for me to live life. If that makes sense at all.