These boys are my whole world. When they are happy, I'm happy. When they are upset I am upset. There is nothing I wouldn't do for these boys except do nothing. I was blessed with three beautiful, intelligent, witty handsome boys. They also have their share of challenges.
From the beginning I've dealt with allergies, eczema, food issues, sensory issues, behaviour, speech delay, social anxiety and learning difficulties. Some of these things have been fixed. No fixed is the wrong word. I've had amazing support in my life when it comes to my boys. This support has given my boys every advantage and have taken some of the work load off of me and through a lot of time and effort some things have improved immensely. There are still things to work on certainly and every week seems to bring a new challenge.
It's pretty easy sometimes to get overwhelmed and emotional. It's pretty easy for me to go into a tailspin of emotion and upheaval and self recrimination. Alas, I am on my road to recovery and taking on these challenges is something I can face again now that I'm feeling healthy and like myself once more.
Taking care of myself first had helped me to get back to my boys in a way that they need me. To advocate for them, to listen to them, to talk to them in a calm way without my 'lectures' as Kale so brilliantly put it one day. I have a tendency to lay down the law with no wiggle room. So here I am back to myself and the challenges are still here and I'm strong and able to face them.
There is no easy way and it will take years I'm sure for my boys to be model little citizens and I for one will not stop helping them and teaching them even if it takes me telling them a thousand times the right thing, I know that one day it will sink in and they will get it.
I'm not perfect, my kids are not perfect. I know this and I try my best and that is what matters.