Saturday, March 24, 2007

March 24

I've finally gotten back to my old self for the most part. My house is so clean right now, underneath all the crap anyway. The boys just don't seem to know how to keep anything clean. Okay it's mostly Little M. Plus I haven’ worked on my craft/office room. It’s totally disorganized and I need to get it organized so I can be organized and actually work on a craft and get something done.

I've started back to my old program, I've done pilates, walked and used the elliptical a lot lately except the last two days I've been sore. I woke the other day with a huge cramp between my shoulder blades that won't go away and it's creeping up my neck and I had a huge headache most of yesterday, I think I was missing my Pepsi, I'm trying to give it up again. But I had one yesterday because I wanted the headache to go away. The outreach worker gave my shoulders a bit of a rub yesterday at romp'n'run but it didn't help but it sure felt good. I'm going to do some working out today and see if I can get it worked out. Another friend was telling me about a lady in town who does aroma therapy massage and she'll be studying next year to do Swedish deep massage, god that would be nice.

Let's see Little M I believe is teething, his back molars are not all the way in and he's been cranky for days and the other day he had a fever. He's still into everything, the day he had a fever he only wanted to wear diapers which I was fine with but yesterday he was back to no diaper and only underwear and still had no accidents. I can't believe the difference in the potty training process this time. He's doing good otherwise we get to do things everyday, he totally loves play dough and I've made some new stuff about three times now. We had a play date with a friend this week, our first ever real play date for Little M and that was nice for him to have a friend over, they get along and play real good together but he was a little grumpy some of the time. He slept a lot that day because of his teeth I think.

SmartGuy is good for the most part but his behavior at school has taken a back turn because he's acting out again. Doing odd behavior like tying a blind cord around his neck when her (the teacher) back is turned or going into her off limits desk and putting whiteout all over it and messing up puzzles. She's wants us to work on this at home. I told her that we are always working on behavior with him, listening, telling the trust, doing the right thing and being trustworthy(being able to leave him in a room without him doing something bad). I don't think he necessarily is doing something to be bad but doing something to see how it works or to experiment. I was talking to another friend last night at their last hockey practice for the year and she was talking about how her son does things to get attention at home and at school and I realized that there is a correlation between home and school with SmartGuy's behavior and maybe he's just an attention getter as well. He took the bus home from school for the first time on Friday and he loved it. I just did it, I was tired of waiting for Hubby to be comfortable with it, they had strict rules on the bus and I don't think anything will happen, mostly the kids in the out lying areas are good kids and nothing would happen on the bus. He loved it and can't wait to go to school on Monday on the bus. I don't think Hubby is totally comfortable with it as he came home to see how it was for SmartGuy. It was cute! But honestly, it’s big relief not to have to rush and get him from school everyday because usually the two younger are sleeping and I have to wake them up.

SnowBaby is doing great, sleeping good, pooping good, smiling lot's now and cooing a lot as well.

Things have been a little tense at home, I think Hubby is stressing about something and is stewing because he hasn't told me about whatever it is yet. We had our first every fight or it was a tiff. He said something about the floor being dirty and I take it the wrong way and fly off the handle. I feel guilty about so much right now, and I don't know what to do about it. A dirty house was one of them for a long time. I just couldn’t keep up with daily household maintenance for so long starting when I was pregnant and also the cooking. Hubby took over those and I feel so guilty about it for some reason. He still does a lot around the house for me but I’m getting better. Our sex life has totally been affected and it's strange for us. So I'm guilty about not enough sex because we are all too tired, I'm guilty for wanting and having 3 kids that take up so much of our time but I wouldn't ever change it for the world. It's strange that I have this guilt, it changed our lives so much to have a family and I hope that this strain we are feeling the last 10 weeks goes away quickly. On top of all that there is the stress of finances, Hubby really wanted to take the summer off but now with the car loan he won't be able to and he's taking on some cabinet work and I'm thinking he really doesn't want to because that takes up a lot of his time but it’s extra money that can go toward debt but our only debt at the moment is a couple of loans.

I'm hoping his daughter will come to visit this summer and it will help me out. Plus it will be nice to have her around, I know Hubby misses her. So we will see when we go down to visit. He’ll be able to see all his other kids, all three of them. If she comes she can go to the art camp and I’m thinking of putting SmartGuy in art camp as well. I think it would be great for them.

What else, my wisdom teeth, two of the three I have, have been bugging me, and another tooth that has a chip in it has been hurting. So I will have to do a dentist trip soon. The dentist here has been the only dentist every to see my teeth and that fact that he is retired sucks!

A friend I did the triathlon with last year suggested we set a goal and do the triathlon again and I agreed, so that is one good thing, to have a goal and someone to train with. I will start walking the Dome with her, I hope. It should be interesting with the kids in tow. I'm sure glad she has a dog too! I hoping to do morning walks too this summer with another friend, that would be a nice way to visit a bit.

I’ve finished my writing workshop, it was the only real two hours of free time I’ve had in the last month. But of course I feel guilty about it because SnowBaby would be crying his little head off when I got home because he just can not me comforted by Hubby. Baby usually just wants to nurse.

On other news I’m feeling better; my house is clean and staying that way for the most part. I just have the one room to finish and I think I will do that today. I hope that since I’m feeling more like myself I will be able to schedule my time better doing quality stuff with the boys and finding time for myself and for my writing because that is important to me and I don’t want to go insane trying to please everyone else if I’m not happy.

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