This might work!

This morning SmartGuy was telling me he was thirsty in a very whiny cranky urging voice and I didn't like it and replied "that's nice". He didn't like that and got upset with me. I asked him what it was he wanted and again he said "I'm thirsty".

I asked him to go to his room and think about how he was talking to me and to find a better way to talk to me. So he went.

I went to him room and this is how it went.

Me: I understand that you are thirsty. When I get hungry or thirsty and someone doesn't listen to me I get cranky. I didn't like how you were talking to me. Maybe we can think up a better way for you to ask for something to drink?"

SmartGuy: Okay. But why did you say that's nice.

Me: I shouldn't have said that and I'll try to think of a better way to answer you next time.

SmartGUy: Okay.

Me: Do you think you can think of a better way to talk to me and ask me something.

SmartGuy: (after a bit of wandering his room) I can aske nicely and say please.

Me: That sounds like a good idea!

SmartGuy: Can't I have something to drink please!

Me: Sure

So I did read a bit more of my book last night and I'm really trying hard not to snap at the kids, I'm trying to clean and mop my floors. So when this came up, I really had to think hard about how to handle it and I feel like it went good.

Showing empathy, looking for a solution together. He did seem a bit surprise about my change of behavior but went with it. I finding the book eye opening in many regards, things that I always thought and felt I would do with my children but never put into play but now it's more clear now that I'm reading it.