Friday, January 15, 2010

Where to feel safe? One of my biggest problems these days is that when I have feelings, I bottle them up and they fester and they take all this energy to keep at bay and then one day all that energy is used up and my emotions go on overload and I'm crying but then I can't cry because I'm at work or I'm with my family or I'm making dinner and the kids are in another room. At night when the boys are asleep I don't do it but maybe I should, I'm sure H wouldn't mind if I just let loose!

So this morning my boys, my very trying boys, I'm trying to get them ready and out the door and Mica thinks it would be funny to bite my bum and he kept doing it even after I said now. I got mad and said I was tired of them always abusing me. I went to the fridge to grab and apple for my snack and I lost it right there with the door open and I was sobbing. H came over and held me. Then I put it all away and started of my day.

Today I dropped all the kids off because I wanted to be with them, so I had the van. I then had an appointment with my weight loss nurse. We talked a bit about my situation and again I got teary, I've been teary all day so far and it's not lunch time yet. I need to make an appointment with my counselor. I always feel much better after seeing him.

But I've been journaling my food, I still haven't been working on my exercise as much as I'd like but I'm on Day 14 of being a non-smoker! Yay me!

1 comment:

Brenda said...

(((HUGS))) You can do it!