Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Body Image

I made this post the other day:

I was reading an article about loving your body. It made sense to me that if you loved your body you would accept it and take care of it. It also said that those that loved there body exercise at least 3 times a week and those that didn't love their body exercise as much as they could. Maybe in a search or struggle. I didn't quite understand that spot. I'll have to find it and read it again. But then I was reading an article in SELF mag about women loving their bodies, it was eye opening.

But I was thinking of my life long struggle to accept myself. I'm half white and half native american. I have big hands and long ear lobes and I was always told I had my grandmothers hands. I had a hard time for ages accepting my heritage, growing up with NA family who drank and drank a lot while growing up. I associated being native with drinking. It wasn't until years later for me to understand why they drank. Most of my aunts and uncles were taken away from their parents and put in residential school, including my mother.

I've come to understand they whys but it doesn't change how I grew up and what I interpreted my life.

I used to obsess about not being petite and having tiny features like all the girls in my class, they were all white except me. I was a good girl, I followed the rules, my father was pretty authoritative and I was never close to my mom, I can't connect with other women. All these things have something to do will how I see myself and it's something that I'm going to work on.

I've always loved my eyes and my feet and will work on loving the rest of me. My hands for instance. They are big but they are strong and the work hard taking care of my boys, the can still caress and sooth my children's worries. I can love my body and find strength in loving it without relying on someone else's preconceived acceptance of it.

So do you love your body?

My next comment:

What comes first acceptance or the love, though one commenter said she didn't love her body but accepted it,maybe it's different for everyone.

There are so many to respond to, I'll get to it later today but I wanted to add that I do love my shoulders, I've always had broad shoulders and I liked the strength that made me feel and I've always had the figure 8 (hourglass shape) with my big hips, my child bearing hips and I loved that I could carry my 3 wonderful sons in my body. Those things I love and accept, those are my strengths and I will continue to build on those.

I think how amazing it is that I can confess so much on these online support boards I go to but I don't talk about this stuff in real life with anyone. I hate that I say I don't connect with women because that isn't true I have some wonderful women in my life, some amazing women in my life that accomplish so much. Women I look up to and admire for their strengths and their weaknesses because we all have them.

I may not love my body right now but I'm learning and growing stronger everyday and someday I will be able to accept and love myself unconditionally like I'm supposed to.

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