And around and around we go.
Life is just crazy lately. I feel so busy and can't keep up with things. Things should settle down after Christmas, I suppose! :)
I'm trying to figure out what it takes for me to save my life. This is how important it is to me but for some reason I can't keep the momentum, I can't change. So that is my negative talk right there. I've been having a fight with it the last few weeks.
The truth is only we can fix ourselves.
If we don't take responsibility for our choices and decisions then there is no growing, there is no moving on, there is no enlightenment. We may think there is but there is not.
Religion gives us a great scapegoat.
On Day 4.
Each day is getting better. It's hard at first to eat this way, it's so nutrient rich. And sometimes a little bland!
Feeling so good. I was down for a few weeks, really not right in the head. All that negative energy just kept pulling me.
I have always been afraid.
Back in November I somehow hurt my knee. I have no clue what happened, it just started hurting. It seemed like it as swollen on the inside. It ached for some time, weeks and seemed never be going away. It went from pain to an ache with the occasional spike of pain and I've been quite careful to keep it from being injured further.
The past weekend I spent out in a cabin by the river. It's the best little holiday one could ask for. It was part of a Family Camp through our First Nations Government. So I took a couple of my boys and nephew and we joined it. It was a great weekend with lots of activities and crafts and social visiting with friends. I made some good friends through the previous Women's Retreat and Family camp, so it was great to see them again. We got to visit and chat and enjoy the outdoors sitting by the river and just talking. It was so special.
The next morning after that I woke up sick. There has been a nasty little bug going around town and I got it. So I was home and sick in bed for two days. Now I'm not so sick but still coughing a lot and it's keeping me up.
I was very much off plan over the weekend, since they do all the cooking. It was very good food and I ate meat and dairy but did the best I could.
I don't even know how to start this. I haven' been in any major way blogging at all in a regular fashion in sometime. I'm just not sure where my head has been, all over the place I guess.
It's usually the same thing over and over, I go in circle I tell you. Circles. It can be frustrating at times. Right now I'm on this purpose thing. My life needs meaning. Is this depression creeping in or am I on a new path of discovery.