Day 5

Current Weight 320

Down 2lb.

I wasn't surprised at the weight and so I'm not bummed about it. It's a total reflection on my eating yesterday. I over did it during the day, I had 1 1/2 salmon sandwiches for dinner and then I went to friends house and had two beer. So I knew that there would be some issue with the weight this morning but it wasn't an issue. I also realized that even when not dieting or doing a lifestyle change there are so many factors in life and you can have a 10 pound weight range in one day.

Sleep is my biggest obstacle right now. I need sleep to have the proper rest, your body also burns more calories when you have a nice long sleep. I'd also be able to go to bed at a proper time and get up at a decent hour to exercise. Right now my only exercise has been walking when I can. It will happen.

But I have notice a big change in my attitude this morning, life doesn't feel so helpless anymore. I don't know if its a condition of the change I'm going through or I got to talk to a friend last night. But not even really talk about my problems just hung out and chit chatted.

I notice that with myself even though I'm a quiet shy person and I like spending time by myself alot every once in awhile I get the urge to be with my girls and my one friend is really good about calling me to invited me over for a beer every couple of weeks. I'm a weirdo like that I don't just drop in on people, I have to have an invite. I'm like that with everyone except my parents pretty much. Weird trait!

I did have 2 smoke last night as well but dont' have the urge to smoke all the time. I do that to myself, cheat I guess. Have a smoke every once in awhile.

I haven't had a Pepsi all week so far and I feel really great about that. The only chocolate I had was the dark chocolate which I just had the last 4 little pieces of because I'm hungry or I'm telling myself I am. I didn't have breakfast this morning in the rush to get out of the house. My van didn't start this morning and I was lucky it didn't snow last night because Marcel was home to give me a boost. I did bring a couple of apples and a banana which I ate one of each. I brought yogurt and cereal but we had no milk at home or here at work, so Ifigure I'll pop t the store in a bit to grab some milk to have my cereal. I think the reason I'm doing well with not having the sweets is that I've been eating more fruit.

I seem to be doing good in a few food departments, drinking green tea, avoiding the bad carbs for the most part, no soda or sweets, eating lot's of fruit and veggies. So yes, I feel good about all that and I'm sure I'll continue to see results over the coming weeks.

Now to just work in some more exercise. My next goal.

Smoking

Why is it when you haven't smoked for months the moment you inhale it's like coming home? I've quit many, many times and I need to quit again. It somehow snuck back up on me and I let it. I missed smoking, having my 5 minutes breaks, that de-stressor that helped to much. If I needed an out I could just go for a smoke.

 It started innocently enough, I was feeling stressed before the holidays and would invite a friend to go for a beer with me and I'd bum her cigarettes. We've been through this before. So this goes on for month and then it's every week and then twice a week. I'd hit up the other hockey mom's. Then it would be that fateful night when I went out drinking, really drinking, I think I had four that night and I was smoking all night and i was okay for a few days but then I really needed on and I ended up buying a pack and then another and another and before you knew it you were smoking again. Yup, I'm on pack 6 I think.

I love smoking but don't get me wrong I know it's bad for me, that's why I keep quitting but I like it so much. So it ebbs and flows for me. One day I really will quit for good. Right now I'll enjoy it while I can and maybe I'll quit in a few days or next week. I really want to and hopefully exercise will help me conquer this hurtle as well.

Beautiful Day

Now that I'm back to my old schedule of going to bed early and getting up early, this morning I had a strong urge to walk. So I grabbed some track pants, runners and my ipod and headed out. As I rounded the corner of our street Bad Day was playing while it's has depressing lyrics, the instrumental is very inspirational and I felt really alive as I walked the first few minutes and my body relished in the invigourating walk. It was like old times for me, it's been well over a year since I stopped my daily walks and it really felt great.

While I had only been walking just over a month before I was pregnant with Little One and too fatigued and sick to walk, I felt like I had never stopped. I'm sure as my body adjust it will get better as well. Little One is going to be 8 months on Sept 12 and I guess my body is ready to get into shape now and my mind too!

I'm still smoking and I figure this will be a good way to quit again. The last time I was exercising regularily my body couldn't push itself as much was it wanted because my lungs couldn't keep up. I figure these cool, pretty cold actually mornings will help me too! Once it's too cold I'll just jump on the treadmill (I bought one off a friend this summer).

I feel mentally I'm at a crossroad and this is the time for me to get back too it. I was hoping it would happend soon but I'm just glad it's finally here.

Sure I've been walking all summer but it's different when one is pushing a stroller with two kids and yelling for your oldest to wait up because he's gone way ahead with his bike. So I'm off to a good start and I'm making sure I stick to it.