Thursday, October 18, 2007


I really just wanted to write anything here. Mentally I'm just not prepared to write down my feelings and thoughts because they will come out in a blather. I'm feeling so high strung right now. All I want to do it just get outside and walk or run or just do something to get these feelings out of me. It's really hard to explain.

I feel like I wrote too much last night and decided to take it down, so there area few paragraphs missing. This stuff is deeply personal and I'm sure you'll understand why I did it. I'm struggling with my emotions on this subject and frankly, I shouldn't put it out on the internet for all the world to see or my readers.

I quit three days ago again. I fought off the cravings and went and climbed a hill. I climbed on Tuesday and today I did go up hill I could bring myself to go up. I was tired but still wanted to climb, so I go that little hill up to the road, turned right and walked until I got to another road and walked up some more. I did it fast too because I was out of breath and working hard. I felt so good after.

I'll do the hill tomorrow morning with a friend.

I just need release, I've been feeling pent up since a couple of days ago and today even more so, even more so. I wish I could explain myself better.

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