Thursday, September 10, 2015

As I've said many times, I don't know how to act around people.
I don't always know the right things to say to people.
You will never read this but I have to say sorry.
I have to say I wish I had been a better friend.
I wish that I didn't act so immature and knew how to communicate.
I think that I probably do know how to communicate but I hate conflict.
I was scared all the time of losing people instead of being myself.
I'm so very embarrassed by my actions.
I wish I had been a better person and a better friend to you.
We loved each other and wanted to be friends forever.
I took these things to heart.
Then my heart was broken and it was not your fault.
I couldn't see that I was the one broken.
I didn't see right for a long time.
I was jealous I think and I'm sorry.
I was hurt by others and I felt hurt by you.
But ultimately, I should have trusted and loved you still.
You didn't hurt me, I hurt me because I didn't think I deserved love any more.
I walked away and I hid and I was embarrassed by my actions.
I'm sorry for hurting you this way.
It has taken years for me to come to this point.
To realize the wrong I had done.
Way too late. Damage is done.
I hope that in another life you can forgive my ways and we can be friends again.
I miss you so very much.
You have moved on and I so hope that you are happy, I really and truly do.
I'm so truly sorry for hurting you.
Thank you for helping me grow up!

No comments: