Monday, June 29, 2015

40 things about me

I see lists like this floating around out there and since I'm coming up to a big birthday why not!

1. I was born, raised and still live in the same town.

2. Why don't I leave? I think part of me is scared to.

3. We plan on visiting to see if it's a place to live in 3 to 4 years time. Costa Rica!

4. I wonder everyday how my boys are going to turn out. Being the age they are where they disagree with everything I say and fight with each other and use inappropriate language, I wonder if any of the good stuff with sink it. They are great kids but those high moment! Ugh!

5. I am a writer. I write short stories and hope to write novels someday even if it's just for me.

6. I have designed a number of quilts and they are in my design book. I have not put them out there.

7. I like the taste of chocolate and potato chips together.

8. I'm only afraid of heights when I'm with my children.

9. I worry about the dangerous things that can hurt them.

10. But at the same time I let them have independance.

11. My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD, we knew this since he was 3 but was never able to get an accurate diagnosis until last year.

12. It is now suggested that my youngest son also has signs of ADHD but has not been diagnosed yet.

13. My middle has some learning difficulties.

14. We struggle with behaviours every single day, that is ADHD life.

15. Meditation helps my stress.

16. I forget to meditate everyday.

17. The more I read the more I think I have ADD but probably not I'm just have some tendencies. :)

18. Being healthy is my top priority.

19. But I'm a procrastinator so it's usually not!

20. I used to have a high stress job that I succeeded at and then my job changed.

21. My whole life I have always gotten what I wanted.

22. Until I was 34.

23. I guess I was never used to disappointment and I think it gave me depression.

24. I hate having it, I hate saying I have it, I hate it being an excuse.

25. My plan was to start walking to work everyday. I do this every spring and sometimes in the later winter. Then it got really, really cold. So I didn't. Then it warmed up and I got really, really sick.

26. I have been working really hard the last two years to make myself mentally healthy.

27. I've had two amazing life/wellness coaches that have given me skills!

28. I have a tendency to jump right in and start big.

29. I'm working with my life coach to start small and take baby steps. It's a struggle. So this week I start 1 +1=1, I'm going to walk one way, once a week for 1 month.

30. I never dreamed that I would be a quilter. I absolutely love everything about quilting. I love the challenge. Because I love to be challenged and be good! I'm pretty good right now but I want to be great at it!

31. I'm a vivid dreamer, I have vivid dreams almost every single night and I remember them for a bit. I've been meaning to keep a dream journal but have not managed to do that yet!

32. I started this list back in April and it's now almost July and I'm 40 now. So I will keep going.

33. I'm afraid a lot of things like zip lining, parachuting, sky diving, scuba diving. So I think I'm scared of heights and claustrophobic. Or I'm just afraid of dying some horrible and tragic way.

34. I have a competitive streak.

35. I am a perfectionist.

36. I have to do it all and I can't fail.

37. I really believe in the mind body connection.

38. If I was go back to school now I would study the brain. It is so intriguing to me and I feel pulled in that direction sometimes.

39. We'll be completely out of debt in 3 years and then we will travel and other things.

40. Turning 40 was not that scary and I don't feel 40 at all!

Things aren't right. Mentally I'm back, feeling good and loving myself but my super achiever is still missing! What am I to do?

Everyday I work and everyday I have times when I just give up. So.................I know that my depression is not gone, I work hard all the time to let it go but then things bubble up. So I need to take to journalling again.

Meditation and yoga help a lot and one of my girlfriends just came back from being away for two years, she spent a lot of time learning yoga and can now teach it. So she's practising on our ladies group. She worked with me last week and the boys got some attention from her too. Our group is going to meet with her once a week to learn and yoga together. I'm so looking forward to it.

I really want to this to not be a my story any more. I'm going to just say it and move one.

So I've been back in the thick of quilting. I just finished a top commission and have sent it off to be professionally quilted. I can't wait to see the end result because I'm so in love with this top I don't want to give it up but I know it will go to a great guy who will take good care of it.

I used at quilt pattern called Rooted by Quilt Dad in the Fat Quarterly newsletter. I used bear claw pattern for the corner stones and then I appliquéd some bears on there. I used a whole bunch of blues, browns and greens from my collection.

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

The Big EZ II

I finished my quilt top several weeks ago but I haven't been in the blogging mood lately. I belong to an online quilting group and a lady posted a quilt that I copied. I used the same Valentina fabric that has all the pretty vibrant flowers on and the tree fabric. I managed to find then after several searches. The batik leaves fabric might be the same but I can't recall. The pinks and turquoise colours were what was in my stash. I just loved how the quilt looked and had to make my own. So this quilt once finished is for my bed. I have two custom quilt to finish, and I'm almost done them and then I can quilt this baby. It went together great, they are nice big 18" blocks. I for some reason hat trouble at the end not lining up or having the wrong color combos on them.